In this article we will explore the process of processing emotions to manifest. I discuss how avoiding/burying emotions or sitting in/stewing in emotions are all counterintuitive to the manifestation process, despite what we’ve been told. We will explore common New Age manifestation practices that offer potentially harmful advice and learn what we can do instead to be in high vibration. I’ll walk you through the importance of all emotions, even the “negative” and uncomfortable ones. How our past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs contribute to emotions, being in low vibration, and how to release these to unblock you from your True Self so you can manifest. I also offer IFS-informed tips and tools to effectively process your emotions to release them instead of holding onto them. This, I believe is what true enlightenment is all about.
Our Emotions Are Vital in Manifestation
Often, we’re told me must be positive, in high vibration, to manifest. And this is true. To be aligned and connected with our True Self and the Universe, which is our portal to manifesting, we must be in a calm, centered, and grounded state. To get here we must learn to effectively process our emotions, opening us up to manifest. What I often see are people pushing down emotions that are considered “negative” or uncomfortable emotions such as, anger, sadness, overwhelm, fear, anxiety, and so on, because they believe these emotions lower their vibrations. Or they become overtaken by the emotions, stewing or sitting in it. Unable to let go of the emotion. Doing either of these things actually blocks our manifestations.
Hey, I get it! They’re uncomfortable! I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve pushed down and invalidated my emotions. This is because I have watched the Secret more times than I cared to admit. I tried raising my vibration by dismissing and ignoring my negative or uncomfortable emotions. Pushing these down in an attempt to only think positively. I berated myself when I would get angry or upset over something because this meant I was in low vibration and my manifestations were not going to come through.
Feeling a deep sense of shame when I couldn’t stay in a continuous state of positive emotions. I wanted to be enlightened, and I thought enlightenment meant always living in a state of positivity and happiness. However, I have since learned otherwise. I internalized the idea that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t ignore the negative emotions. I felt like I was missing something that everyone else was getting, like it was an inside joke.
Feeling uncomfortable or “negative” emotions does not lower our vibrations. Holding onto these emotions by burying/avoiding them, stewing or sitting in them does lower vibrations.
Let’s Look at Burying/Avoiding Emotions First
When people bury emotions, push them down, negate them, dismiss or avoid them, there are things under the surface that happens. Here’s an analogy-Have you ever been in a pool and tried to push a beachball down under water? If you have, you might remember that first, there’s resistance with trying to push the ball below the water. It doesn’t go easily. Second, when you let go of the beachball from the depths of the water, it explodes, shooting straight out of the water.
This is what happens with our emotions when we try to push them down, eventually they will explode. Unable to control the emotions that were once buried, we become emotionally dysregulated. Before this happens, these same emotions are festering. This is the resistance I mentioned with the beach ball. That resistance, the festering is impacting our day to day. We’re edgy. We feel off. We’re not present, centered or grounded. And we are certainly not connected to anything greater than us when we have unprocessed buried emotions festering below the surface.
Again, we must be in alignment with our True self and the Universe to manifest. Burying emotions, avoiding them, all in the name of higher vibrations lowers our vibrations. It also doesn’t allow us to align and connect, and our manifestations will not come through.
Which Leads Me to People Holding onto Emotions
The other way I mentioned is when people become consumed with their emotions, sitting in them, stewing, allowing them to take over and dictate their lives. These emotions are often resentments, shame, anger, and fear, but there could be others. When our lives are taken over by emotions, we can’t see beyond the emotion. We’re weighed down by them. We feel most disconnected and discontent with ourselves. It is pushing us further and further away from our True Self and out of alignment with the Universe, again lowering our vibration.
New Age Manifestation Practices Miss the Mark
As I mentioned earlier with the Secret, this is what a lot of New Age manifestation practices talk about- high vibe, positive thinking only, ways to manifest. When it doesn’t work, we are left to feel ashamed that we did something wrong. We forget that we are human beings. We are meant to feel the full range of emotions. And that’s okay. Emotions tell us something. If we are hurt (sadness), in danger (fear/anxiety), someone crossed a boundary (anger), we did something wrong (guilt). We cannot be in a state of high vibration 24/7. But we can do the work to process emotions effectively, to shift perceptions, so we can work through these emotions, and come back to center. Gain insight into why we are having these emotions and then take actions to do something about them. Instead of burying them or sitting in them.
The Past Impacts Our Present
Past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs adds an additional layer to our emotions. Our feelings can be more intense when attached to beliefs we accumulated from the past. This is another reason why we often try to avoid or end up sitting in our emotions instead of being able to process them. This belief system activates thoughts and emotions that lower our vibration and disconnect us from our True Self.
Some examples of limiting beliefs are “I’m unworthy.” “I’m unlovable.” “I’m undeserving.” Past programming and conditioning are thought perceptions and behaviors that we witnessed our caregivers saying or doing growing up. Some of these we learned as way to keep us safe early on in life. We could be conditioned to be a people pleaser because we learned that is how we received love. Past programming could look like “money is the root of all evil”. Or other notions, or ideas that we picked up but don’t serve us. All of these are blocks to manifesting.
If we can identify these past beliefs, decide that they no longer serve us (because they usually don’t), we can work with the part holding on to the beliefs to let them go. In the past these beliefs might have served us to some extent, such as people pleasing or caretaking. Being a perfectionist. But they are the same things that are blocking us from manifesting now. The same things that are activating the emotions we deem as low vibe and either bury or sit in. Let’s explore how to process emotions through the lens of IFS. But first-
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
I view the world through the lens of Internal Family Systems (it’s the therapist in me!). I believe IFS not only works in a therapeutic setting but also within manifestation.
According to IFS, we are composed of many parts, aspects of our personality, and our True Self. Our parts and True Self work together. True Self is what connects us to the Universe, it is our higher self, our authentic self. Our parts are what make us human. However, our parts can also take on new jobs and roles based on our experiences. Particularly in childhood/adolescence. IFS helps us connect with these parts of us building relationships and trust within our internal world. No longer having that internal struggle, being pulled in many directions, or second guessing ourselves or our abilities. IFS brings healing and harmony to our internal system, just the way it was intended to be.
Our parts take on new roles and jobs as a way to protect us, keep us and our internal system safe. Even if it doesn’t seem like it’s the best thing to do, especially as our experiences change. These parts of us are so impacted by our experiences, they internalize them often leading to programming, conditioning, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, unhealthy behaviors, disconnected from our True Self, and ultimately low self-worth.
Using principles of IFS, we learn how to align with our True Self, connect with our parts, and build trusting relationships within the system. By building that trust and relationship, the parts learn that it is safe to allow our True Self to take the lead. We can also work with these parts holding the past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs, so they can begin to heal, let go, and feel safe. This is where the magic happens!
Processing Emotions Through the Lens Of IFS
Processing emotions means we feel the emotions, let them run their course, and then we release them. When we learn to process emotions as well as shed the past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs that fuel our thoughts and emotions, I believe this is when we enter a state of enlightenment because we are truly aligned and connected.
Becoming mindful of our past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs, gives us a road map to the parts that need us the most. If we connect with these parts compassionately, through non-judgment, show them that our True Self can take the lead and gently challenge these beliefs. Allowing the parts to shift their perception and let these beliefs go, we let go of the emotions associated with the beliefs as well. No longer burying or sitting in them. We become more present, centered, and grounded. This is all about getting to the root and healing instead of putting a Band-Aid over it.
The Part That’s Blocking Them All
If you are prone to burying your emotions, you can thank a very hard-working part for that. This part learned a long time ago that this is the best way to go about dealing with uncomfortable emotions. It could be a part that I lovingly call the “Enlightened” part, spiritual bypassing all the “negative” or uncomfortable feelings, all in the name of enlightenment. Or just a part that learned early it’s not safe to express emotions. To identify this part, you can ask yourself what’s the internal dialog around the need to bury or avoid emotions? Being mindful of what comes up when you notice you are not allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable emotions. Just listen to what you’re thinking without judgment. This is how you can tell what part is burying or avoiding emotions.
When we experience thoughts or emotions that are intense, this means a part is blended with our True Self. These emotions aren’t coming directly from True Self, it is coming from a part and moving through True Self. When a part is blended with us, we feel overwhelmed. It is difficult to gain perspective on what is going on, and we lose our connection with our True Self. It’s as if a part, usually the copilot, kicks True Self out of the pilot seat. Not only that but the part kicks True Self right out the door, locking it behind it. We want True Self to always be in the pilot seat.
When True Self is in control, we are able to work through whatever thoughts or emotions are coming up. See things from a different perspective. Not get sucked into past belief systems. This is why unblending is so important.
Unblending From a Part
To unblend a part of you from your True Self is to first acknowledge that the part is there. Notice a shift in how you are feeling and thinking. Then acknowledge the part, let it know that you can feel it, this is connecting to the part and letting the part know you are aware of its presence. Then ask the part to please step back, letting it know you want to help it but cannot until it steps back. This is unblending from the part. When a part steps back, the emotions and thoughts will feel less intense. You are allowing space for True Self energy to come in, giving you a different perspective from what the part is thinking and feeling.
This perspective also reaches outside of yourself because not only are you aligned with your True Self, but with the Universe as well. After you unblend from the part you can then talk to the part. See what you can do for it. If it needs any help. Often times are parts are just happy to be acknowledged, finally! But talking to them and seeing how you can help, strengthens the relationship between True Self and the part, building trust.
As we work through the past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs holding us back, we become more present, centered, and grounded. I’m not saying all “negative” or uncomfortable emotions stem only from these things, but many of them do, as well as our beliefs on how to manage those emotions.
What Comes Next
Processing beliefs and related emotions helps us to better manage what comes up in the present moment. It is kind of like we are working from a clean slate. I don’t know about you, but if I start a new project, or even if I am cooking, I like to begin with a clean space. I feel overwhelmed when there are unrelated things all over the place. This is what I mean by clean slate. It’s like we are cooking dinner in a kitchen free of dirty dishes and mess which makes the process more enjoyable and easier to get through.
Processing Current Emotions
Once we gain awareness of belief systems, how they are blocking our manifestations, and work to build connections with the parts holding on to them to help let go and release these beliefs, a shift happens. We are more open and in tune with our True Self and the Universe. Then as new emotions come in, we can effectively process them instead of falling into old patterns of burying or sitting in the emotions.
To process these emotions, we allow ourselves to feel them. If this is scary, I suggest setting a timer and letting the parts know that you are going to let this feeling wash over you for a set amount of time, then let it all out. By giving yourself a set amount of time to feel the emotions, it tells the parts that this will be over at some point, it will not stay past it’s welcome, putting the parts at ease.
I suggest beginning with 5 minutes. Tell the parts what you are doing so they allow the part holding the emotion to emerge and let them know that after the time is up that is it for the day. During this time, you can journal to get it out. Listen to music. Cry. Go for a walk, whatever it is that feels right to you. Tune in and see what comes up and go with it. After the 5 minutes is up stop doing the thing you’re doing, maybe splash some water on your face and go about your day. You might need to allow the part to do this for a few days to fully process the emotions.
In Conclusion
If we can learn to process emotions instead of burying/avoiding, or sitting in them, we are making the space needed to be aligned with our True Self energy, with the Universe, and manifest our most amazing lives. We are more equipped to tap into higher vibrations and can feel a sense of peace within our internal world. We do this by becoming mindful of our inner dialog, the past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs, so we can work with the parts holding on to these beliefs. Then we help them shift perception, thereby freeing us of these beliefs and associated emotions. Process emotions through using a timer, if needed, cry, journal, listen to music, go for a walk, and repeat as necessary to fully process our emotions. By doing so, we notice that we are more present, centered, and grounded to manifest. This is the path to enlightenment.
If This Piqued Your Interest, I Have Two Offerings Available!
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If you would like to further your exploration of your internal world and release the blocks and barriers that get in the way of you manifesting your most amazing life, then check out my self-paced e-course-How to Manifest Without the Self-Sabotage. In this course I walk you through how to align with your True Self, work with the parts of you keeping you stuck and disconnected, to manifest! This e-course is full of videos, handouts, workbooks, guiding you through this journey. There is even a guided meditation where I walk you through how to connect with your parts. Click the link below to learn more!
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