What it means to be self-led

by | Sep 19, 2022 | Coaching, Manifestation, True Self | 0 comments

And why it’s important in all aspects of our lives, not just manifesting.

When we are Self-led, we are in our worth. We are showing up as our authentic selves.

But what does it mean to be self-led?

When I think of being Self-led, I think of aligning with our True Self, which is another name for our authentic self, or our intuition. We can make decisions based on the present moment and not based on past events. We can see things clearly, not clouded by past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs.

Looking at this from an Internal family Systems (IFS) lens, we begin to understand that we all have parts of us. Aspects of our personality. our parts are what make us human. They help us interact with others, manage daily life, complete goals, communicate, etc. They work with our True Self, with True Self being in the lead.

I use an analogy of a control room. In this control room we have the captain or the pilot. This is True Self. Then there are parts of us that are keeping things running. In other words, when we are in our True Self, it doesn’t mean that we are the only one in the room. Sometimes our parts take over and push True Self out of the captain’s chair and take over.

What happens when the parts try to take over? This is what we call blending.

Here’s some examples you might be able to relate to-

Have you ever been so angry you “saw red”? Or “blacked out”?

Have you ever felt so anxious and overwhelmed you shut down?

Told yourself that you will never accomplish anything?

Ever felt so flooded with emotions that you were unable to control them?

These are the parts blending with you. It will feel like you don’t have any control of the situation. And really, you don’t. When our parts are blended with us, it means that they have taken over.

This is why we want to develop a relationship between True Self and our parts. That way, we can recognize that a part is blending and ask the part to step back, step aside, take a break. Ultimately, we are asking the part to help us, True Self us, instead of taking over and doing the job on their own. Because when these parts do it on their own, they are running off invisible scripts that most likely no longer serve any purpose. But the part doesn’t know this. The part is trying to keep you and the system safe.

What we can learn to do instead.

Using one of the examples above, when we get angry, instead of seeing red, and possibly doing something a part of us will later regret, we ask that angry part of us to step back, give us some space, and become the co-pilot. The angry part then is working with True Self, instead of for us. Our True Self is in the lead with the help of the part. Therefore, the part can help us in many ways including to set boundaries or be assertive. We feel more in control of our responses, we’re in alignment with ourselves, and it doesn’t trigger the part of us that would feel regret or shame around our response. Win, win!

When we are self-led, we are in our worth and in alignment with our authentic self, our True Self. When we are manifesting, making life decisions, attempting to set boundaries, ask for a raise, starting a business, anything, being in alignment with our True Self is key to being open to the Universe to co-create the purposeful life we truly want. And this is where the magic happens!

Limiting beliefs create imaginary boundaries that confine your abilities and prevent you from being Self-led.

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts that you take as fact, believe as absolute truth. The thoughts that dictate how you perceive yourself, others, the world around you. These thoughts are living in your subconscious. They stop you in your tracks from doing things, -Reaching your goals, your hopes, dreams, living a fulfilling life. Being Self-led.

Are your beliefs standing as gatekeepers or stepping stones? Take this free quiz to find out! Unlock Your Power: Transform Your Limiting Beliefs


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Hey there, I´m Angel

This is my little corner of the internet where I share all things about manifestation and Internal Family Systems. I’ll share my insights, knowledge, and tips, so that I can help you manifest the life you’ve always wanted!




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