In this blog post I talk all about manifesting through the lens of Internal Family Systems. I discuss what are parts, True Self, and I share practices to align with your True Self and how to unblend from the parts blocking and sabotaging your manifestations so you can manifest your most amazing life.
What is Internal Family Systems?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based therapy modality rooted in the belief that the mind is naturally multiple made up of parts and Self. Parts take on different roles, such as the inner critic or inner child. Self has the ability to work with these parts to harmonize the mind thereby, larger human systems.
What are Parts?
Parts are aspects of our personalities and are what makes us human. They have taken on new roles or jobs due to things that happened throughout our lives. Parts always have positive intentions, however, can take over.
What is True Self?
True Self is our inner knowing. Our intuition, our Authentic self. It’s our True North. True Self works with our parts to navigate through life.
True Self is also how we connect with the Universe.
According to IFS-
We’re born with all of our parts, just like we are born with our True Self. Our True Self is our authentic self, intuition, our higher self, or soul, our spirit. You can call it whatever you would like to call it. But in Internal Family Systems, we call it True Self.
The concept of IFS is to work with the parts of us that are stuck in these jobs and roles. We build a relationship with between True Self and the parts and even allow the parts to choose new jobs that are still in alignment with their intention. And also, something that they actually want to do without feeling overwhelmed or exhausted. Our parts can take a break if they would like to. And that’s really powerful.
Think about being able to have more control over what’s going on internally. Not only that but allowing the parts to take that step back and to be able to really see what is happening, that it’s no longer this thing that happened when we were a child.
This does not mean there is anything wrong with you. Just to be clear, noticing that you have parts isn’t the same as having a mental health disorder like dissociative identity disorder (DID) or what it used to be known as, Multiple Personality Disorder. It is absolutely normal to have parts. It’s just another way to explain aspects of our personality. But you will notice parts getting in the way of your manifestations for various reasons.
Ahead, I’ll be sharing how you can get in alignment with your True Self and unblend from your parts. This is the foundation to manifesting your most amazing life!
Aligning with True Self connects us with the Universe
We must connect with the Universe to manifest!
You might be asking yourself,
How do I know I am in True Self?
According to IFS, we look for the 8 C’s to tell us if we have tapped into True Self or not. We do not need all 8 at a time, just one will do. The 8 C’s are:
Curiosity
Creativity
Compassion
Confidence
Clarity
Courage
Calmness
Connectedness
In other words, are you feeling open? Open to possibilities? Open to what is coming up for you at this moment?
Journal Questions
Can you think of a time where you felt any one of the 8 C’s?
When was the last time you were curious about something?
Felt confident? Creative?
Felt a sense of calmness come over you?
This is True Self!
Can you remember that feeling? Can you recreate it? Align with it? What would you need to do to do this?
How to Align with Your True Self
Here are two practices to help you align with your True Self.
I invite you to get quiet for a few moments, taking 3 deep, cleansing breaths.
Think about that time you felt like you were in True Self, really notice it. Notice how you were feeling. What do you notice in your body? Can you feel it again right now?
What does it feel like? Maybe you feel relaxed? Or you noticed less tension in your body? Maybe a little tingly? Possibly less “noise” in your mind? This is True Self!
**This feeling. This energy shift you feel when in True Self. This is you getting in tune with the Universe. This is where the magic happens!**
Here’s another quick exercise to get into True Self with your breath
Sitting in a comfortable position close your eyes and begin taking deep breaths.
Sending your breath down your body to your root chakra, sacral chakra, hips.
With each breath sent down, you are activating your body.
You can begin to feel tingling sensations, awareness of your body.
Focus on your breath sending it down, grounding you where you sit.
Notice how you feel in your body, observe, no judgment.
Keep breathing into your root.
You are now grounded, present, and in your True Self energy.
When a part comes up
I find that the sooner we embrace our parts, all of our parts, the easier it is to shift into living an authentic life that is in alignment with our True Self and the Universe. I wrote a blog post called Self-Sabotage and Manifestation that gets more in depth about our parts. You can read the full article here. But here’s an excerpt:
“Using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) parts perspective lens, our self-sabotaging behaviors are parts of us. These parts took on new jobs or roles in our childhood as a reaction to what we were dealing with at the time. Our parts have positive intentions. For example, if a caregiver was critical of us, a part of us will take on this role. the intention is to “keep us in line” to try to mitigate the caregiver being critical of us. Or another example, the people pleaser part. This part most likely came about out of fear of rejection, abandonment, or insecurities, that it picked up earlier in life.”
So, what do we do with this? And what does it have to do with manifestation?
Through my years as a therapist and in my personal explorations of manifestation, I found that the key to manifesting is being in our worth. And to be in our worth, we must be aligned with our True Self. This way, we can be in alignment with the Universe. Often times though, when our parts take on new jobs or roles to help us, what they are doing is also diminishing our self-worth. It’s not their intention, at all! Which is why we must work with these parts while in True Self to break these patterns and cycles getting in the way of our worth, and manifesting.
When we are in True Self, we feel inherently worthy. True Self isn’t concerned with or worried about past programming, conditioning, limiting beliefs, invisible scripts. These are the things our parts worry about. And these are the things that impact our self-worth. This can look like perfectionism, our egos, people pleasing, that inner critic, anxiety, and so on.
However, this is not about “just think positive”, “good vibes only”, or “love and light” when feeling some type of way. No spiritual bypassing. These things only invalidate our parts.
Instead, we want to validate our parts, get curious, show compassion.
Just an FYI
we cannot get rid of parts. They don’t go away. They are just as important as True Self. We can, however, ask the parts to unblend.
What it means to be blended with a part and how to unblend from it.
I like to use the analogy that when a part is blended, it is kicking us out of the room and barricading the door shut. We don’t feel like we are in control.
It’s a flood of thoughts, feelings, body sensations.
Think about the last time you felt anger, anxiety, or guilt. What did it feel like? What were the emotions? the thoughts? What were you feeling in your body? What did you do because of this? Did you say something you later regretted? Did you do something that you didn’t want to because you felt guilty? Or did you say “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”?
What if you could make space between those feelings? The thoughts and body sensations? This is what unblending from a part means! And it’s really quite simple.
First, it’s important to notice and have awareness of what is going on inside. To be connected to ourselves.
As a society, we are very disconnected from our bodies, and from many of our emotions. This is especially true with women.
Reconnect With Yourself
This is a practice to check in with yourself throughout the day to see what is going on inside of you.
Take a couple of deep, cleansing breaths, then ask yourself: What am I feeling? What am I thinking? What body sensations are coming up?
Such as any tightness, tension, restlessness, etc.
By doing this, you are gaining awareness of how these three things are connected. And in turn you are reconnecting to yourself! Practice this 2-3 times a day so that you can become more aware of what is going on inside your internal world.
As you become more aware of what is going on inside, you can begin to determine what part is taking over.
How To Unblend From A Part
This is an incredibly powerful practice! When you notice a part taking over, you are going to acknowledge it by saying something to the effect of, “I see you” or “I feel you”. Then thank it for coming up. Our parts love to be acknowledged, validated, and thanked! Then let the part know that you can handle whatever it is that prompted the part to come up in the first place. Finally, ask the part to step back, give you some space, or to take a break.
When asking the part to step back, you are asking it to unblend from True Self. By doing so, True Self you is now in control and the part has become either the copilot or it has taken a break. You will notice that the emotions, body sensations, or thoughts associated with the part, have now become less. They might even be gone if the part took a break. But at the very least, the feelings will be less significant than they were moments ago.
By unblending, you can see the situation that prompted the part to come up differently. You can look at it from a different perspective. No longer from the perspective of the part.
When you can unblend from the parts of you that take over and have them help True Self instead of taking over for True Self, you are able to see things from a different perspective. Not from the perspective of the part that is clouded by past programming, limiting beliefs, and societal norms and pressures.
When we align with our True Self energy, identify and work with our parts, we are building our self-worth, and connecting with the Universe.
It is about you living in alignment with who you were meant to be. How you were meant to show up on this planet.
Free from limiting beliefs, societal norms, pressures from loved ones, and negative self-talk, that chip away at your self-worth until you don’t even know who you really are. This is the foundation to manifesting your most amazing life!
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