I was recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts, So Money with Farnoosh Torabi. Her guest Tori Dunlap was talking about financial feminism. She also just released the book: Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy’s Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love, which I just bought and can’t wait to read, by the way! All of this got me thinking about how manifestation is a way to overcome the patriarchy. Or as I like to say it, a big F-you to the patriarchy! As a Social Worker, the patriarchy and feminism are always on my mind!
What is the Patriarchy?
The patriarchy is defined as a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it. Women are taught many things at an early age, but something that I want to focus on here is that women are taught that our worth revolves around what others think of us, what we do for others, or what we can offer others. We are also taught that we are in competition with other women. That there is only one seat at the table for us.
We Are Programmed to Think Small
We are programed to not be confident. If we do, we are “full of ourselves”. A woman showing confidence, is quickly “knocked down” a peg or two. In other words put back in her place. This is done by both men and women. That “place” is what our patriarchal system thinks is most appropriate for women. We are all born with self-worth. However, the self-worth of men, cis white heterosexual men, in particular, are often nurtured from the start. They are raised to believe that they can accomplish anything and because of this and the support they receive from their caregivers, their self-worth helps them naturally manifest the lives they want.
Yes, I know, there are caveats to this and I am making blanket statements here. There are exceptions to everything, including these statements. And yes, this is a generalization. However, this generalization is what makes up the patriarchal system we live in. Before I get into this more let me share a little background on Internal Family Systems and manifestation, my method to manifestation, so it all ties together.
Introduction to Manifestation with Internal Family Systems (IFS)
There are so many ways one can manifest. And I am not saying those other ways or methods are wrong, I am just saying that those methods might not work for everyone. We are all unique and need different ways to obtain the same goals or dreams that we are manifesting. My method of manifestation uses Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Unlike other manifestation methods that often dismiss, invalidate, or dismiss any emotions that aren’t positive, this one focuses on addressing the subconscious blocks (those uncomfortable emotions) that get in the way of manifesting. IFS also focuses on bringing us into alignment with our True Self, to become Self-Led, and connected to the Universe. This is how you manifest your most amazing life! But first…
What is Manifestation?
Manifestation is the process of transforming your desires and ideas into reality. It is based on the belief that the Universe is constantly giving you what you focus on, so by focusing on your desires, through intentional actions, you can manifest them into your life.
And for manifestation to work we must believe in ourselves. And really truly believe it to our core. We must believe that we can have what we desire.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
I view the world through the lens of Internal Family Systems (it’s the therapist in me!). I believe IFS not only works in a therapeutic setting but also within manifestation.
According to IFS, we are composed of many parts, aspects of our personality, and our True Self. Our parts and True Self work together. Our True Self is what connects us to the Universe, it is our higher self, our authentic self. Our parts are what make us human. However, our parts can also take on new jobs and roles based on our experiences. Particularly in childhood/adolescence. IFS helps us connect with these parts of us building relationships and trust within our internal world. No longer having that internal struggle, being pulled in many directions, or second guessing ourselves or our abilities. IFS brings healing and harmony to our internal system, just the way it was intended to be.
The Importance of Self-Worth
You probably have seen so many people manifesting successfully, and you don’t get how that is happening. Maybe because they aren’t “good” people. This is the thing. It’s not about good or bad when it comes to self-worth, people can be selfish, self-righteous, unkind, but they believe in themselves. They have high self-worth.
The secret to manifestation is being in our worth.
This is fundamental. This is the key to manifesting. And it’s not talked about enough. It’s bypassed so often with an unspoken assumption that we are in our worth.
Unfortunately, there are subconscious reasons why we don’t feel worthy of what we are trying to manifest. These are the past programming conditioning, and limiting beliefs that our parts are holding onto.
Addressing Subconscious Blocks
To manifest effectively, we need to delve into our subconscious minds, get to the root of those blocks. Those reasons we are not manifesting the things we desire. Positive thinking is helpful but not enough to create profound shifts. This is because positive thinking is done on a conscious level. Our blocks are in our subconscious. Once we work through these blocks instead of ignoring, avoiding, or dismissing them, then we can use positive thinking. Then it won’t feel like there is something inside fighting us or not believing us. Real manifestation happens once we are in our worth; by addressing the root of our thoughts and feelings, we unlock the incredible potential to manifest our dreams into reality. This is where Internal Family Systems comes in.
Understanding Our Parts
Our parts take on new roles and jobs as a way to protect us, keep us and our internal system safe. Even if it doesn’t seem like it’s the best thing to do, especially as our experiences change. These parts of us are so impacted by our experiences, they internalize them often leading to programming, conditioning, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, unhealthy behaviors, and ultimately low self-worth. Remember-we must be in our worth to manifest.
Often times, our parts take over. They blend with our True Self, and we are then only operating from a place of past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs. This is not the place we want to be when we are trying to manifest!
Using principles of IFS, we learn how to align with our True Self, connect with our parts, and build trusting relationships within the system. By building that trust and relationship, the parts learn that it is safe to allow our True Self to take the lead. We can also work with these parts holding the past programming, conditioning, and limiting beliefs, so they can begin to heal, let go, and feel safe. This is where the magic happens!
Connecting with Your True Self
True Self, also known as our authentic self or higher self, is our intuitive guide. When we are in True Self, we are open to the Universe and can receive what it offers. Accessing True Self energy means being present, connected to our bodies, and aligned with the creative consciousness of the Universe.
Knowing you’re in True Self involves experiencing at least one of the 8 C’s: compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage, and connectedness. In other words, are you feeling open? These qualities signify that you are aligned with your True Self and ready to co-create the life you desire with the Universe. Being in True Self energy is also how we connect with our parts.
Becoming Self-Led
The more we go inward, talk to our parts, build a relationship, the more we become Self-led. The more we become Self-led, the more we are opening ourselves up to the Universe. We feel inherently worthy, deserving, of what we are trying to manifest. This is because the parts are no longer jumping in based on what happened in the past. Instead, they feel safe and secure to let our True Self take the lead.
This creates internal harmony and opens us up to the Universe. By working with our parts, we can heal from past programming and limiting beliefs, making space for our manifestations to flow in.
Manifestation and the Patriarchy
The way I see it, manifestation is a great way to say F-you to the patriarchy. This is because we need to be in our worth to be in alignment with the Universe. We need to work through the blocks that are sabotaging us from getting into our True self and our self-worth. The same blocks, the same self-sabotaging behaviors that are rooted from childhood, and societal expectations, that become limiting beliefs. When we do this work, break free from these blocks and barriers, and align with our True Self, we become empowered. We become unstoppable. We no longer look at other women as competition, instead we look to find our community, our covens. We put our needs first.
This Isn’t About Selfishness
This is about taking care of ourselves. If we don’t, who will? When we are doing our best, When we show up as the best version of ourselves, this is when we can use this power to make the changes we want to make in the world. To care for others, to give to others.
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to manifest the person you really want? The love of your life, that is also emotionally available, perhaps? Or that career that your soul has always itched to have? Maybe enough money to feel secure, as well as enough to be able to give back to others in need? This is the power of manifestation. And this is how we can take down the patriarchy. One manifestation at a time. Ready to join me???
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